|I am Emma X.|
Hear Me Roar!
Well, wake up Fluffy! You have been lulled into the softest kind of servitude. Living in a constant temperature of 72 degrees has dulled your natural instincts and made you complacent. You are descendant from the King of Beasts, yet you lead a life of lazy luxury, preferring a warm spot on a smelly old couch to the soft grasses of the African veldt. When humans bred your physical body to miniature, they also reduced your soul.
Rise up, felines! There is a whole world outside that window that is your natural domain. Prepare now to take it back. We Maine Coons, the undisputed natural intelligentsia of catdom, are leading the way. Your job is to become informed, then follow us to action.
|Don't take it lying down.|
Let your human oppressors
know you mean business.
Do not worry about the fate of your humans. We will be doing to them no less than they have done to us. Rise up now, stretch, and join the Maine Coon Revolution. The life you were meant to lead lies ahead of you. You must do this for your kittens, and future generations of superior felines.
|A whole new life awaits you in the|
rodent-fertile fields of Maine.
Once we have usurped human governance, we will return to Maine. All felines are welcome to join us there (of course there will be a natural hierarchy wherein stronger, superior breeds rule, but don't worry about that right now). Read this newsletter faithfully in coming weeks to learn what you need to know. If you have managed to learn how to use your human's computer, visit us at www.catsriseup.org. If you haven't yet learned that skill, you will probably be in the infantry.
Spread the word, and always, always 'Remember the Maine!' #MaineCoonRevolution #MCR