Saturday, May 26, 2012

Feline Evangelicals Oppose Violence
by Hairy Falwell

Editors Note:  The MCR Council believes in freedom of expression and is happy to allow alternative views to be aired in this newsletter for a modest fee.--X 

Reverend Fallwell
is head of F.E.C.A.L.
(The FEline Christian
ALliance).  His weekly
messages from his
mega-church are
televised on the
Animal Planet channel.
Check local listings.
Lest you think that all cats approve of the violent overthrow of the human race, read on.  Felines of faith understand that all living things on this planet are God's creatures.  Jesus promised us that 'the kittens shall inherit the earth'.  We must not lose faith with his promise.

Every living thing was created by God for His purpose, including humans.  Cats, as creatures of superior intellect and understanding have not lost touch with God's plan.  But naturally inferior humans have fallen into sin, and the result is the world we witness today.  God understood this would happen when he created the world five thousand years ago.  We must not seek to hasten His plan, but have patience with His plan, even from a position of relative servitude.

The lion will lay down with
the lamb, and felines will
live in peace with all creatures.
We must be patient and trust
in God's plan for us.
Violence against any creature that is not food is wrong. The way to bring about God's Dominion on earth is to instruct humans as to the error of their ways, and encourage them to follow His path.  The miracle of the loaves and the tuna teaches us that God wanted humans and cats to live together in peace.  The best thing we can do is not attempt to overthrow the human regime with violence, but lovingly instruct them in the error of their ways.  When Jesus returns, he will create a new world for both species (except gay humans).  Until then, we should love our humans as best we can, and lay off the catnip.  We should also pray for our fellow felines in China.  If you want an alternative view to the MCR, visit  Donations for China relief can be made at  Friends, consider the true revolution in Christ.

Evangelicals are launching a pro-feline
campaign appealing to human morality.

The F.E.C.A.L 'Jesus Loves
You' T-Shirt, available in all
sizes including XXXXXL.
$49.95.  Order at


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