Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Funding the Maine Coon Revolution,
by Emma X

Emma X

Felines ask me daily, how is the Revolution possible in practical terms?  Weapons cost money, especially teeny tiny ones usable without a juxtaposable thumb, and few cats are gainfully employed.  The price of land in Maine alone is staggering.  How is this going to work?

Well, you'll be happy to know that the problem has already been solved.  Using models developed by our own oppressive humans, activist cat cells have set up bogus charities, and the proceeds are rolling in.  Our bank accounts in Switzerland are growing with laundered cash processed through drug cartels in South America.  I am happy to tell you friends that the Revolution is not only possible, our projections show it is achievable financially within five to eight years.  This financial plan includes weapons, bribes, transportation, housing, automatic can openers, and legally secured lands and facilities in the State of Maine.  And you can do your part!

Humans are basically corrupt, but have a great amount of guilt about the vices they continually participate in.  Setting up a charity where they are able to practice vice while believing the proceeds go to a good cause helps alleviates this guilt.  They flock eagerly to openly drink, gamble or practice sexual perversity for 'the cure' or 'aid' or 'relief'.  They rarely look beyond the surface of charitable concerns, as what they are actually curing or relieving is their own conscience.  And the application of alcohol aids their spirit of giving.

Despite their many deficiencies,
short hairs are remarkably adept
at dealing cards.
The odds are with the house at
feline poker fundraisers.
My humans go away regularly, so I use the house for a 'charity' poker game.  You can do the same.  Establish your 'cause', pick a time when you know the oppressors will be away, and start bringing in the cash.  See the MCR website for suggested bogus charity names and instructions for opening the liquor cabinet.  And have fun!  Send your proceeds to the donation address at and bring us closer to our ultimate glory.
The problem is
he'll bet that deuce.

Also, be sure to check out our MCR merchandise when you visit our website.  We are adding new items daily, so check back often.
Be proud, keep the faith, and remember that humans keep their credit cards in that wallet thingy.
#MaineCoonRevolution #MCR

Do your part to by proudly wearing
 an MCR T-shirt made of a
soft cotton blend in a
country that doesn't eat cats.
One size fits most felines.
 $29.95 on your human's credit card.

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