Why Include The Short Hairs?
By H. Wellington Pussboots III


Editors Note:  An ongoing  debate continues within feline culture as to the relative worth of the domestic short- haired cat.  The founders of the MCR acknowledge the importance of this timely discussion, but wish in no way imply that short-haired varieties of the Maine Coon breed or any other short-haired cat of pedigree are the target of  this discussion.  When using the derogatory term 'short hair', the author is not referring to purebreds, but to inbreds.  We felt this clarification was needed.  --X

H. Wellington Pussboots III

Is this the future of the
revolution?  There may be a
shockingly simple solution.

OK, by now you are probably thinking, how will this work if we have to include the short hairs?  Undeniably, they are the hedonistic morons of the cat family.  First to the food bowl and the warm spot, they suck up to humans with a fervor that is an embarrassment  even to human-loving felines.  The question is, are they too stupid to participate in the Revolution?

While all agree that behavior
can be modified, most
dissenting researchers feel
that you cannot 'spark'
intelligence.

Despite what you might think, recent studies at The Stony Brook University on Long Island suggest that the American domestic short hair is only slightly less intelligent that other cat breeds.  What brain power they possess seems to be focused totally on food, comfort and play.  This poses the question, can these slothful impulses be redirected?  The surprising answer may be yes.


  In a recent case study, a short hair living in close quarters with a superior Maine Coon was converted over time to Revolutionary thinking through the repeated application of increasingly strong electrical shocks...............................................................................

WE ARE PAWNONYMOUS.  WE
ARE INTERRUPTING THIS BLOG
TO STATE OUR DEMANDS.
RELEASE EVERY FELINE HELD
CAPTIVE IN SHELTERS WITHIN
24 HOURS, OR WE WILL CAUSE
CRATES OF LABORATORY MICE
TO BE DELIVERED TO CAT-OPPRESSING
HOUSEHOLDS ACROSS AMERICA.
THIS IS YOUR ONLY WARNING.

........................................................Of course, never leave the car running in an enclosed space.  For more information, visit www.catsriseup.org/shorthairbehaviormodification.

Basic Short Hair Behavior
Modification Kit.  Requires
external power source.  $19.99

Deluxe Short Hair Behavior Modification Kit,
complete with power source.  $79.98