Saturday, August 3, 2013

Love Child
By Rand Colbert

Rand Colbert,
Stephen Colbert's Cat
Quid est veritas?  Filii crudelis est,
vita sugit, atque in te moveat.
I can't believe the prejudicial crap storm going on in 'Shitcago'.  True Americans need to re-examine the pure motives of tireless public servant Jim Allen.  I mean, when he was making a public comment, he was a good soldier and said all of the politically correct things about Erika Harold's candidacy.  As the Montgomery County Chair of the GOP he did get the diversity memo, and poor Jim did all he could as far as duty required.  It was when he thought he was safe he let down his hair and spoke the truth as he sees it, man to man, about the Illinois Congressional election situation.  And wouldn't you know it?  Some Liberal-leaning RINO turncoat outed him on the Internet.  You can't blame Jim.  He is the real victim here.  Enemies of right-wing ideological purity are creeping up to strike everywhere.

Shitcago, sight of the world's greatest political injustice.
Liberal pimps are taking over America's great cities, but if you happen to
mention it you lose your job!
Good soldier that he is, Jim didn't realize that he was too low on the political ladder to not be expendable.  I mean fellow conservative Congressmen (and I suppose Congresswomen) can spout prejudice and vitriol in the national political ring and get air time on CNN.  Poor Jim cranks out one flaming e-mail about an uppity Beyonce ruining his plans to reinstate a white man in the Illinois Congressional seat, and he is woefully betrayed by a back stabbing Liberal-loving snake in the grass.  I'm sure you can understand his surprise and shock.  After all, the fraternity all talk that way in private.  They must, else why would Jim Allen share what he had to know to be inflammatory rhetoric in a political e-mail?

Publicly, Jim Allen said that he was
happy with Davis (the male Republican
candidate) and that it would be "fabulous"
if Erika Harold ran for a different office.
"Why start a war when there's really no war
necessary?"  He still retains his job in the
Illinois Secretary of State's Office, even
though he was forced to resign as a GOP
Party Chairman.
You can't expect a simple guy like Jim to be able to successfully sift through all the mixed messages that are out there.  I mean, he didn't call Ms. Harold a street walker in public, did he?  He didn't openly suggest that she was the bastard love child of the Democrats, or that she might only succeed in life because of minority quotas on the record.  Faith was kept, people, both with the new politically correct party line, and the backroom ideology of white conservative male truth.  Jim was railroaded folks, and as true Americans we should be horrified about his victimization.

Doug Ibendahl, shadowy Editor-in-Chief
The Republican Newswatch.  He is the
Benedict Arnold who published Allen's rant.  This is
what he said:  "Outrageous comments like those of
Jim Allen are why we as Republicans fail to gain any
respect from minority voters.  If officials in my party
 fail to understand how destructive it is to attack an
impressive person like Erika Harold merely because
she dares to challenge the good-old-boys, the GOP
will remain a losing party for decades.  This stay-in-
 the-back-of-the-bus mentality destroys any hope the
Republican Party has for regaining momentum in
future elections."  Well, nobody would have had to
consider our 'mentality', Doug, if you hadn't presented
it as red meat to the Socialists growling in the 'back
of the bus'.  You clearly understood the ramifications
where Jim Allen did not.  Where's your party loyalty?
And what is it with you and hyphens?  You use them
very Liberally, I must say.
So now Jim is out as the Montgomery County Republican Party Chairman. What a shame that Reince Preibus would turn on his own like that.  We certainly have to question his commitment to the cause, I can tell you.  Preibus said, "The astonishingly offensive views expressed by Chairman Allen have absolutely no place among the leaders of our party at any level. His behavior is inexcusable and must not be tolerated.  He should apologize to Erika Harold and resign immediately." Do you think he meant it?  No, he just made a sacrificial goat out of Jim Allen because he was expendable.  If Preibus meant what he said, he would have sent a similar message to Trent Franks, Steve King, Michele Bachmann, Todd Akin, Michael Burgess, Ted Cruz, Louis Gohmert... well, the list goes on.

The Little Queen, Erika Harold,
former Miss America and would-be GOP
candidate for Congress.  She's not ready to
compete against entrenched Republican
candidates in Illinois, and won't be as long
as she is only half-white and female.
So now you can see now that Jim Allen has been used poorly by the GOP.  Write to Reince Preibus and tell him that you agree that street walkers and pimps should not be dominating Shitcago politics.  Tell him you want an honest man like Jim Allen reinstated.  The future of the GOP is in the hands of loyal men like Jim.

Hey, folks.  Jim did apologize.  Since when is that not worth
something?  I mean, this is all he said:  "Rodney Davis will win
and the love child of the DNC will be back in Shitcago by May
of 2014 working for some law firm that needs to meet their quota
for minority hires.  The little queen touts her abstinence and she won
the crown because she got bullied in are
cruel, life sucks and you move on.  Now, miss queen is being used
like a street walker and her pimps are the DEMOCRATIC PARTY
and RINO REPUBLICANS."  All of this could come true, you know.
And Jim didn't call her a street walker, he merely said she was being
used like one.  He did mention her abstinence, didn't he?  There is no
way he can be construed as attacking her honor.  And I think we can
all agree that Democrats and RINOs are pimps.  Let's not be afraid of
a little truth, people.  Tell Reince Preibus to bring Jim Allen home.

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