Natural Born Killers
By Nebu Ganesh
|Nebu Ganesh, East Coast Liberal Snob|
The Tea Party wants their Country back, and
their country as they envision it is run by a
Ted is out among the populace touting the idea of shutting down the U.S. Government in order to defund Obamacare. Not a sturdy political platform you might think, but the audiences coming to hear Ted's push are rabidly enthusiastic about his 'give 'em hell' message, and its not going unnoticed by a fractured and frankly desperate GOP. Lets not forget the Party's expressed need to 'diversify'. As Ronald Reagan said, "a half a loaf is better than none", and for some in the Party, a half Cuban Conservative powerhouse may be more appealing than a good 'ole boy stuffed shirt with a terminal case of racial Tourettes. And remember, this is the Party that doesn't really understand the depths of their own racism. So half a loaf might be the recipe that delivers the Latin vote for the GOP. At least that's the hope.
But wait a minute, there are a few problems. Ted was born in Canada. That wouldn't be an issue normally, as his mother is an American citizen, but unfortunately the Republican Party, either through direct malice or quiet approval, have knowingly abetted the Birther Movement, the never-ending Tea Party fiction that President Obama is not an American. They have propagated that lie for six years despite the facts. And now Birther paranoia could remove the White House from Ted's political future. That would be a good thing for some hard liners, because then they wouldn't have to mention race.
The Birthers are simple folk. They are not Rhodes Scholars. They need a way to negate the legitimacy of Obama's Presidency without publicly calling him a socially unacceptable name, and Tea Party strategists provide what they need. Now that they have heard the lie often enough to believe it, they are not going to be fooled again by another half-breed whose birth certificate proudly proclaims he was born in Canada. Nothing against Canada, of course. Its just a method used to combat Mr. Cruz' lack of racial purity. You see Ted, you would only be half-white in their book. And its not just the inbred Party base that will question your genesis. You don't realize it now, but take one serious step toward the Presidency, and your extremist peers will turn on you as well. They know how to spot a counterfeit. The fact that your given name is Raphael and you don't use it tells them that you are hiding something. And Canada, that's a Socialist country, isn't it? Yes, you must be perpetrating a fraud. So talk radio and the Chauvinistic freaks that whip up anti-immigrant frenzy will toss their audiences this xenophobic bone to gnaw on, just like they did with that other half-white guy. Your political Kryptonite will be Article II of The Constitution, and a phrase that reads "natural born citizen".
Now you know and I know that if your parent is an American so are you, just as in your heart you know that President Obama is in fact an American citizen as well. But are you natural born? All that bullsh*t that you didn't stand up to fight against is going to come right back around and bite you in the ass should you throw your straw fedora in the ring. The GOP will use you to claim diversity and they will abet your crusade against Liberal legislation, and who knows, you may one day find yourself in a Primary debate, but in the end the Tea Party will kill your candidacy before America casts a vote. Why? Because you don't meet their image of ideological purity that a Conservative President should represent, which is purely white. And in secret conclaves that you, Ted, are not allowed to attend, they have vowed with a blood oath to never go 'there' again regardless of political alignment. Hey, they know you're 'one of the good ones', but facts are facts. To repeat their hackneyed phrase, "Its called the White House for a reason".
|Its all about the birth|
certificate, wouldn't you
agree? Why mention racism?