Saturday, June 29, 2013

This Week in Racism
By Nebu Ganesh

Nebu Ganesh, PhD.
Conservatives take note:  Even the Master
Race needs basic science education.  We
should be number one in death ray
production.  Vote 'yes' for skinhead
If you have been thinking lately that Tea Party Representatives in Congress are just too slow in bringing about the new Fascist world order you yearn for, take heart.  This week it was revealed that two intrepid and very stupid members of the KKK designed and marketed an x-ray concentrating death ray intended to kill 'muzzies' and other undesirable threats to American White Supremacy.  At last someone is picking up the pace of reactionary change.

Glendon Crawford (left) and Eric Feight,
alleged co-conspirators.  They believe that the white race is
smarter than every other race, but they weren't able to put
together a workable weapon and not get caught in the attempt.
It looks like they will be spending lots of time with like-minded
patriots experiencing similar cognitive dissonance.
The project was innovative, in that it employed current technology, used relatively inexpensive parts, and provided the would-be terrorist with a highly portable device. Sadly, there was no actual comprehensive workable design, and the only funding they could gather was from the FBI, who had to provide plans, parts and eventually help with assembly to keep their sting operation going.

The device was designed to be mounted
on a small van.

The design could not possibly accommodate enough power
to do damage to anyone, and the victim would have to hold
still near the device for a long time.  Crawford got most of his
technical information from Wikipedia, which is probably the
real reason his death ray did not work

But hey, at least somebody is out there trying to do something about the menacing hoard of undesirable dark skin tones working their way onto the fabric of our pristine, God-given white landscape.  And the business plan had a marketing strategy, which was to enhance funding by offering the device to Jewish organizations for the purpose of quietly eliminating mutual Muslim enemies.  A logical plan at the time, I suppose, but then that is how the FBI got involved.  The perps forgot one of the first tenets of their ancient brotherhood, which is Jews can't be trusted either.  Their potential clients called the FBI.

The Klu Klux Klan has updated their arsenal of terror
technology to include x-rays.  Fire and rope may be passe.
They have also been threatening to join the Adopt a Highway
program nation-wide.

New York White Supremacists Glendon Scott Crawford and alleged co-conspirator Eric J. Feight evidently did not have the technical knowledge to carry out their plan, which was more comic book fodder than actual science.  The partial device that was built was basically put together by the FBI, and never had a power source.  Crawford is employed by The General Electric Company, who wish it to be known that they had no knowledge of the death ray plan.  There is certainly no visible connection between the company and the alleged weapon plot, just as there are no accurate statistics for how many people GE may have actually killed with the appliances they have manufactured over the years.

General Electric had nothing to do with the death ray plot.
Besides, they moved their entire x-ray division from Wisconsin to
Beijing last year.  That's where their good Engineers are now, and
where they could make a damn fine death ray machine if they
wanted to, but they don't want to.  Not yet.

What is not yet known is how NeoCons will react to this tantalizing news; will they applaud Crawford and Feight as anti-immigration patriots, condemn the FBI for entrapment, or will they accuse the Obama administration of leaking top secret death ray plans?  When circumstances force you to decide what you hate the most, decisions can be hard.


This week Americans have been asked to decide if Paula Deen is racist or just a crazy old cracker lady from the South.  In light of the x-ray death scheme, we must now consider the body count generated by her cooking.  I mean, bacon-wrapped deep-fried macaroni and cheese?  That is a recipe designed to kill.  And how many of her appliances were made by G.E.?   Think about it.

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