by Emma X
Sick of Political Crapulence
|My vote for the October Surprise:|
Rafalca announces that she is having
Paul Ryan's baby and gets $1 million
from Larry Flint!
Still, it won't be long now. We are past the Conventions and the VP selection, which takes us directly to the obligatory Who would you want to have a beer with? news cycle. I suppose its good for some comic relief before the shock of the 'October Surprise', whatever that will be. Of course, I have checked out of traditional politics, but if I cared, the question for me would be in the reverse. Who on the ballot would want to have a beer with me? Who would sit for an hour and listen to me expound on the evils of forced sterilization or the indignity of feline Halloween costumes? And how about the four million cats being eaten annually in China? Will American cats be on the menu if Republican financial philosophies are adopted? That happy sharing of feline concerns over a Bud Light is never going to happen, and your burning issues will not be heard either. No one has an hour to share with you because Big Business is on the phone, and they are funding the real conversation. You are worth no more than a photo opportunity, even if you buy the beer.
|American foreign policy does not even address|
the wholesale slaughter and consumption of cats
in China. Does a kitten sandwich go good with
a cold one? If so, American cats are in trouble.
|In a recent MCR poll of both felines and humans,|
87% of respondents said they would prefer to have a
beer with Mitt Romney's cat Mittens rather than with
Mitt himself, and a surprising 42% of those claimed
that they already had.
Early on politicians used to break out a keg of beer and get their constituents drunk; they then transported them legless to the polls to vote for their new best pals. This was a much more honest approach to influencing the vote. America should go back to that system. It would provide us with a measurable return for the voting effort. Either way, you are going to have to face a huge headache the day after the election. You might as well have the peace of mind in knowing that they really wanted you to have that beer.
|Beer is not the great class equalizer|
in American society. If you have ever gotten
drunk with a short hair, you know what I
Please buy some T-shirts. The garage is full.
Yours in the spirit of Revolution, Emma X
|The End Of Human Oppression|
Yours for the price of a beer.