Saturday, September 28, 2013

Uninspected Green Eggs and
Genetically Altered Corn-Fed Ham
By Emma X

Emma X
I do not like green eggs
and ham.  I would not
like them anywhere.  I'll
eat the mouse, though.
You can have The House.

As of this writing Ted Cruz is conducting a pseudo filibuster to defund Obamacare.  Ted has vowed to do anything he can to end the horror.  I’m sure by Friday Ted’s one man crusade will be over.  Odds are the whole show will come down to one more failed attempt to persuade the Senate to defund.  But Ted is a crusader.  He's in it for the long haul.  His real mission is to rally the troops and prepare them for the greater conflict to come.

Tough Talking Ted-I-am
Ted's unappetizing meal comes with a cup of hot

steaming Tea Party.  Most Americans understand
the issues, but disagree with the extreme solu-
tion.  Ted thinks that if he talks long enough we
will all bite, and like Dr. Seuss' suddenly
enlightened gourmand, thank him later.
It will give Ted and his supporters a real thrill to vote against raising the debt ceiling.  It will excite them to cause chaos with the government payroll and anxiety about global financing.  They are ideologues, and their prime mission is to end Big Government forever, and leave the workings of America to free markets.  No more regulations.  No more coddling of poor minorities.  No more interference in the natural order of violent world revolution, at least where there is no money to be made.  They believe wholly and sincerely in the righteousness of the effort, and in the well deserved intrinsic and monetary rewards owed to a liberated industrial ruling class.

To this point people may not have taken them seriously.  The antics and rhetoric of the Tea Party have often crossed over to lunacy.  But the lunatics have now taken over a whole wing of the asylum, so it is time for the electorate to take heed.

The people who need to wake up to Ted’s revolutionary reality are not the general voting population, who have repeatedly said “enough already”, but the Tea Party voting base, who rabidly support the momentum without a clue as to why.  Sure, there is the 'Jesus' message, the racist appeasement, the homophobic crusade, the guns and ammo litany, and the rock-star freedom of being an unapologetic white guy in an aggressively changing racial demographic.  The Tea Party provides a raucous rebel battle cry for every disenfranchised person who cannot adapt to social change.  But they will be geriatric sheep to the Entitlements slaughter.  Because once Ted and the gang defeat Obamacare, they will take on Medicare, then Social Security, then insurance industry regulations, then everything else that Big Business does not like.  The people who foster fear of the slippery slope to a Socialist Nanny State are greasing the skids for a Corporate tax-free Utopia where markets live a natural life and people die a natural death unencumbered by government interference at any point.

Kamikaze Cruz
Main stream Conservatives now
realize that Ted and his allies mean
to destroy Federal government in-
fluence.  This is not a children's bed
time story.  Things were fine when
Ted was attacking Democrats.  Now

he's diving full speed toward their
home vessel with a tank full of highly
flammable election controversy.
For old school Republicans, this is
a political crusade that will live in


Centrist Republicans grounded in reality call the far right lack of compromise a civil war within the Republican Party.  Some are calling Ted Cruz a kamikaze, sacrificing career and Party reputation for The Ideal.  Ted is enjoying such praise and notoriety within the Tea Party bubble that he probably thinks he won't have to auger in.  But we can take his pledge to fight to the last very seriously, even though his keynote declaration of war is a recitation of “Green Eggs and Ham”.  "Try an isolationist small government.  You will like it.  You will like it on a boat, you will like it with a goat…" 

Custer's Last 21 Hour Stand?
Some concerned Republicans liken Ted's threat
to shut down the U.S. government to Custer's
Last Stand, and they don't want to be massacred
politically with Cruz.  Modern historians agree
that Custer was an inept commander with an
uncontrollable ego who needlessly led his
troops to slaughter.  This may turn out to be
a defining metaphor if Social Security checks
do not go out as scheduled.  Savage senior

citizens vote their wallets no matter how you
circle the wagons.
Oh go ahead and sit down, Ted.  You will need your strength next month when you bring the U.S. Government to a screeching halt.  You will want to be at your best when we all suddenly discover how foolishly stubborn we have been, even though the pork you offer was raised on Monsanto genetically altered subsidized corn, and the green eggs carry an increased risk of salmonella poisoning because you defunded the Food and Drug Administration.  “Thank you, thank you, Sam-I-am”.  I mean Ted.  Now please, please just sit down and shut up.  You're giving me a headache, and a doctor dispensed aspirin costs $18 with a $200 deductible and a $20 co-pay.

The Attack on the U.S.S. Obamacare
is just the first battle in the Tea Party war against Federally mandated entitlement programs.  Thanks to Gerrymandering and Big Business political funding, it may be the longest and most expensive political war in U.S. history, and one in which popular voter opinion will not be a significant factor.

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