Saturday, April 6, 2013

Up Against a Stone Wall
by Emma X

Emma X
Dear Reince, I don't think
your memo got out.
Cats are confused about gay marriage.  Some of them wonder if their humans are gay and they are living in an unnatural environment.  (The answer is, yes you are, but it has nothing to do with anyone’s sexual practices.)  Others want to know if the weird moggie next door is maybe a little light in the loafers.  It is a moot question to me.  Most house cats don’t understand sexual orientation because of forced sterilization.  We are more victims of Stockholm Syndrome than observers of sexual diversity.

Homosexuality  occurs among felines
in the same proportion to population as in other
species, probably 7 to 10%.  With spayed or
neutered cats it is hard to know, but then again...
Scientists report that homosexuality occurs naturally in populations of social animals, with the caveat that many populations have not been studied.  They do not fully understand the causes, but Geneticists are getting close.  What’s clear is that whatever proof they provide, one way or the other, will not be accepted by half of the population.  And should it be proven without a shadow of a doubt that homosexuality is genetic, one hundred years later there will still be people who refuse to believe it.  That is human nature, something the rest of the denizens of this planet are grateful to be without.

Human nature does not like change, and does not admit to error.  Humans will boldly bury the needle on the rationality scale rather than admit they might be wrong, often to the point of absurdity.  And people who view themselves as decent and God-fearing cannot entertain the thought that they might be bigots, which is what cultural change will label them.

Sue Everhart, Georgia GOP Chairwoman.
She won't be fooled by false claims of civil rights.  Gay
marriage is a money grab y'all, pure and simple.  To be
fair, Sue probably doesn't know any gay men.  If she did,
she wouldn't have that hairdo.
Sue Everhart, Chairwoman of the Georgia GOP went on record this week with her theory about the real motivation behind the push for gay marriage.  She made this statement to The Marietta Daily Journal:

"You may be as straight as an arrow, and you may have a friend that is as straight as an arrow.  Say you had a great job with the government where you had this wonderful health plan.  I mean, what would prohibit you from saying that you're gay, and y'all get married and still live as separate, but you get all the benefits?  I just see so much abuse in this it's unreal.  I believe a husband and a wife should be a man and a woman, the benefits should be for a man and a woman.  There is no way that this is about equality.  To me, it's all about a free ride."

Heterosexual 'free riders' Skullf**ker Tom and Donny 'Gang'
Green can't wait to get gay married and cash in on the newest
benefits scam.  They would rather have good dental care than
worry about possible criticism from the other men in their social
club.  Most heterosexual men won't mind the 'gay' label.  The
Skullf**ker- Gang Green family will register at Bed, Bath and Beyond.

Then there's Frank Luter, President of The Southern Baptist Convention, who implied that aggression by North Korea in recent weeks was linked to the gay marriage debate:

North Korean Boy Scout Kim Jong Un is mad.
At last we know the reason for the saber-rattling.  He would
rather bring the world to the brink of nuclear war than tolerate
Western talk of gay marriage.  Un is pictured here holding hands
with his key allies in the fight against American oppression of

"I would not be surprised that at the time when we are debating same-sex marriage, at a time when we're debating whether or not we should have gays leading the Boy Scout movement, I don't think it's just a coincidence that we have a mad man in Asia who is saying some of the things that he's saying."

Frank Luter, President of The Southern Baptist
Convention.  Hurricanes and floods were a gateway
punishment.  God has moved on to nuclear weapons.
Beware, America.  The slippery slope you are
pursuing is not self-lubricating.  There is rough
action ahead.

Sound reasoning all the way around, I must say.  But my favorite for the week is friend of the blog Louie Gohmert, who introduced the subject in a discussion about the size of gun clips in a call with a group called Tea Party Unity.

Texas Representative Louie Gohmert tells it like it is.
We're going to need extra ammo rounds to eliminate Satan-worshipping
cross dressers.  Gohmert has a history of equating homosexuality with
 pederasty and beastiality.  In 2009 he said a hate crimes law that included
LGBT victims would offer anti-bias protections to people who are
"orientated toward animals, toward corpses, toward children."

As to limiting the number of rounds of ammunition a gun owner could buy, Gohmert said, its "kind of like marriage when you say it's not a man and a woman anymore, then why not have three men and one woman, or four women and one man, or why not somebody has a love for an animal?  There is no clear place to draw the line once you eliminate the traditional marriage, and it's the same once you start putting limits on what guns can be used, then it's just really easy to have laws that make them all illegal."  Gohmert also said anti-discrimination laws threaten religious freedom, saying they are "going to devastate the church, the synagogue, places of worship that hire people, because ultimately they're saying you have to hire whatever Satan-worshipper, whatever cross-dresser you think might be immoral, if that's against your religious belief, you are going to be forced to abandon your religious beliefs, and we've been seeing that with some of the requirements under Obamacare."

Well you're right, Louie, there is no clear place to draw the line in that statement.  If I wasn't scared before, I'm scared now.  As a vulnerable animal who is still a virgin, I am certainly going to re-think my stance on the size of ammo clips.

Roy and Silo live and love at the Central Park Zoo.
Why shouldn't they be able to get married?  They already have their tuxedos

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