Saturday, January 19, 2013

Kicking the Can Down the Road to Prosperity
by Rand Colbert

Rand Colbert, Stephen Colbert's Cat
'unum percent resurgam'
Feline nation, I have just returned from  an extended holiday visiting my money in the Cayman Islands to find that the economic fabric of this great nation has been rent asunder. People, my taxes went up!  What the hell!  I can't spend five weeks cruising on my super yacht without our socialist President ramming an unfair tax increase down my throat.  What happened to the people we so carefully helped into office?  I mean the Republican Party had a pledge season that rivaled PBS.  Grover Norquist has a permanent rash on his right hand from Neo Cons slobbering over his kissing ring. His boys were supposed to go over that Fiscal Cliff hooting and hollering the way Slim Pickens rode his warhead to glory in Dr. Strangelove.  Like men.  Like Republican men. What happened?
The Congressional Fiscal Time Machine
Why compromise when you can keep kicking the can 
forward until circumstances are right for victory?  Refuse
to capitulate until Neo Conservatives are back in power.
Then we can revoke tax hikes and Obamacare.  Keep your
eyes on 2016 when President Ryan will lead a Congressional
majority in the restoration of fiscal conservatism.
 Jubilation Day is ahead!

John Boehner knuckled under, that's what happened.  He's going to regret that capitulation when the NRA declares RINO season open.  Good luck to all those closet Liberals when the base gets fired up again and reloads.

Oh well, no use crying over spilt cream.  It is just a bump in the road to midterms.  I must remember the Objective.  Howard Roark would focus on 2014, and so will I.  We can correct it all there. Congress has the equivalent of a legislative time machine.  That's how we got to the 'cliff' in the first place, by kicking the proverbial can down the road to a new legislative session.  When the 113th Congress gets it together they can extend, revoke, refuse or otherwise change the trajectory of the Obama fiscal fiasco.  We just need to play the game until we take over the Senate in two years.  Then we can retroactively revoke my tax increase, and get America back on the right financial course.  It may seem nonsensical, even unpatriotic and arrogant, but fighting Socialism is hard.  If this country has to go through the fiscal equivalent of Ground Hog Day, so be it.  We need to take control of both Houses.  I want my hard earned money back.

The Great Red Hope
Representative Steve Stockman (R) Texas is just
 the kind of man we need in Congress right now.
Thanks to Gerrymandering, he has been re-elected
 to the House of Representatives.  Sixteen years ago
he was shunned by his own party, considered too
 radical when he claimed that the 1993 assault on
 Branch Dividians in Waco was a Clinton conspiracy
 to tighten gun control laws.  Today his views are more 
representative of the main stream Tea Party movement.
He refused to vote for John Boehner as Speaker, 
 saying that Boehner has been repeatedly duped by the
 Obama administration, and has vowed to impeach the
President if he signs Executive Orders for gun 
legislation.  This is just the kind of thinking we need to
 get us through to a 2014 victory and beyond.
Freshmen Congressmen only need to follow the sterling example of the 112th session, and block Obama's moves any way possible.  Those patriots passed less legislation than any other Congress in history.  We can keep that anti-momentum going, starting with the upcoming debt ceiling talks. It's ok if we vote to not pay our bills.  That is the only way that the world will understand that Socialism does not work.  History will thank us if we have the resolve to stand firm.
Wiley Neo Conservatives
 in the 113th Congress have a sure fire plan
 to bring us to fiscal glory.

In the meantime boys (and I suppose girls) keep the faith! Block everything this President tries to do.  Keep kicking that fiscal can until the Elite Socialist Liberal Democratic scourge becomes too weary to function.  True Americans will thank you for it.  For now please protect those defense contracts, gentlemen.  A super yacht requires a lot of upkeep!

The so-called Fiscal Cliff was actually the first
steep hill of what will prove to be an exhilarating
roller coaster ride.  Fasten your seat belts.
The opening of White RINO season
coincidentally corresponds with Gun Appreciation Day.
It's time to thin the herd, people.  There can be no compromise.

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