Misconception
By Emma X

Emma X
If you would like to know how
kittens are made, give me a call.

Well folks, we've got another science expert.  This week Arizona Representative Trent Franks said during a debate about limiting abortion for victims of rape and incest that "incidences of rape resulting in pregnancy are very low".  As you might imagine, there was immediate reaction from Liberal Godless Democrats who chose to take umbrage to Frank's remarks.  But we've been down this road before.

Trent Franks (R) Arizona is one of the richest
members of Congress, with an estimated personal worth
of $11.6 million.  He is the founder of the Liberty Petroleum
Corporation.  He removed himself from the company when
he took office, but retained at least $5 million in stock, the
value of which has increased dramatically during his tenure.
If in reporting this you think I am suggesting that Rep. Frank
may be out of touch with common interests, you have mis-
interpreted my intention.  You should blame your liberal
education for your biased world outlook.

I have to wonder why this keeps happening.  There are no statistics suggesting that rape produces less pregnancies.  We went through this with Todd Akin, who ended up losing his House seat as a result of his 'legitimate rape' remarks.  Trent Franks must have missed that object lesson.  But more to the point, the GOP didn't.  They very frankly and publicly told old school conservatives with less than a ninth grade science education to SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP about this stuff.  They know both liberal and conservative women voters take exception to these kind of ignorant comments.  So what is the rational behind reproducing this special brand of procreative stupidity?

Humane reproduction.
Representative Zoe Lofgren (D) California is the
Liberal man-hater who immediately and purposefully chose
to misinterpret Trent Frank's words.  She told Franks that
there is no scientific basis for his assertions.  "The idea that
Republican men on this committee can tell the women of
America that they have to carry to term the product of a
rape is outrageous."  We should blame female activists
 for her ignorant misinterpretation of reproductive science.

You have to go into the Bag of Political Dirty Tricks to find the answer. NeoCons must appeal to their base.  Particularly in a debate about abortion, they must let the Founding Funders know that they are keeping the faith.  The tried and true political trick is this: state your position clearly; when criticized back off with an apology, but blame the opposition.  The base hears what they want to hear, and blames the scapegoat for any misconception.  With the lower life forms, it works every time.

Eight of the twenty-three Republican members of the
House Judiciary Committee.  There were no female Republicans
voting on the abortion bill.  If you think that old white men are
not respectful of a woman's voice in these issues, or that the
legislative deck is stacked, you are clearly the victim of Liberal
 media bias.

In Trent Franks case, he made his statement, clarified that he meant that cases of rape would be reported immediately, therefore there would be very few pregnancies at issue over 20 weeks, and that Democrats had purposely taken his remarks out of context and were to blame for any bad feeling about the issue.  If his logic were true, there would be no instances of rape or incest to debate about at all.  But Frank's base voters know where he stands. The female vote is at risk, but he knows there will be no next term without base support.

How Neo- Conservative babies are made.
God doesn't allow unwanted babies to come
to earth.  Any other belief is misconception.

Unless of course Franks is just too damn dumb to understand how babies are made. But we should give him the benefit of the doubt. He is not dumb, he is a misogynistic, religion-baiting, self-righteous dick.  Oh, is that what you thought you heard?  I actually said that he is a thoughtful, caring public servant who fully understands the emotional, social and financial burdens of rape victims, and can feel empathy beyond his personal framework of values and beliefs.  I blame Liberal readers for purposely misinterpreting my comments, and for any bad feeling resulting from their mendacity.

Some supplementary education may ease tensions in Congress.
This easy to read volume has large type and colorful pictures that provide a
step-by-step explanation of the human reproductive process.  Cute euphemisms
are used instead of offensive words like 'vagina'.

Also in the 'Get Your Head Out of Your Ass' series:

"How We Know How Old the Earth Is"
"Evolution Within a Species Has Been Proven"
"Global Warming Exists, and Yes, It Is Caused By Burning Fossil Fuels"
and
"It's Not Just a Rumor, Jackass.  Women Have the Vote!"