Mushy Munchies
By Bainsy

Bainsy
This is my second blog.

Now that cats can communicate through social media, everyone is focused on the political aspect of things.  Actually, for the average feline, communication with their Vet is more important.  Here are some stories submitted by Veterinarians who suddenly wish they had an updated course in animal psychology.

Have a happy and safe holiday everybody!

"So that little thing in the wall at nose level is a power
socket?"

"What?  I thought you had snacks in the lobby.
Can I finish it anyway?"

"My last vet thought he could get me to
open my mouth too."

"No, I do not want to come out and meet you.
No, you do not seem like a nice human."

"See this?  It's going to be holding your bloody
right testicle if you even suggest taking my
temperature with that thing!"

"NO NEEDLES!  NO NEEDLES!"

"No, I'd rather stay down here if you don't
mind.  That metal table is awfully cold."

"It's true.  Sometimes I don't pick up on
social cues."

"So you say we're not twins.  How
interesting that we like the same food."

"Ahhhhhhh."

"And then they like changed my brand
of cat food.  Like right out of the blue,
without discussing it or anything.  So I
freaked right out.  And I'm not eating
again, until I can have my Mushy
Munchies back.  Understood?

"Oh big deal.  I thought I'd fit.  Don't act like
something like this has never happened to you."

"Worms?  There's no way I have worms.
My God, I'll be ruined socially if this gets
out!"

"No, I don't have bad thoughts
about my owners.  Why do you
ask?"

"What do you suppose he's going to do with
that?  Looks like something you'd use on a
bigger animal.  A St. Bernard maybe.  Don't
you think?"

"I tend not to see things in black and white.
I'd like to hear all of my options."

"You're gonna remove what?  From where?
Are you sh*tting me?  NFW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'd like to call my lawyer, please.  Right now!"

"...so the Fluffmeister says, hey, the humans left
out the turkey fryer, we could make our cat food
nice and crunchy, and I said, I don't know how to
use it, and he said, no problem I know how to use
it.  Here, I'll turn it on..."

"That stuff tastes like crap, dude.  I'm
not going to take that once a day, even
if you wrap it in goose liver.  It tastes
like a rat's ass, man, I'm not kidding!"

"A bee.  She dressed me as a f**king bee to
go to the Vet.  Could you maybe help me
get adopted out elsewhere?"

"You might think it odd that I follow Courtney
Love on Twitter when I am so into Katy Perry,
but I really think I'm very versatile artistically"